This is not a post I was planning to make any time soon! As I mentioned in my April 6th post, I recently sent off a wave of ~20 query emails in the hopes of attracting an agent and/or independent publisher to represent THE BLOOD GAMES and bring it to market. I fully expected to find no early success and come back to this site, hat in hand, to deliver the disappointing news.

Well, that’s not what this post is about today! Because the first few responses are trickling in, as 3 of the 20 query recipients wrote me back. Two were polite “No”s, as I fully expected. But to my surprise, the third response expressed interest in the samples I provided and requested the full manuscript, which I happily sent along. My expectations were still low, of course – all this meant was an additional chance to get my hopes up before they were squashed again!

But to my surprise, two weeks later I was hopping on a Zoom call with the owner of an independent publishing firm. We had a productive chat about THE BLOOD GAMES and what kind of partnership we might have together. I investigated the publisher online and determined that they were not a scam, and that this was a genuine chance at seeing my name in print. Then, less than 24 hours later, a sample contract arrived in my e-mail inbox, offering to publish THE BLOOD GAMES!

I was in total shock poring over the contract offer. Less than two months into my query journey with my debut novel, and I actually had a genuine “Yes”! A publisher was offering to print MY novel! I would get to fulfill my dream of seeing my name in print and on the marketplace, and putting my work out to the world for the first time! And all I had to do was sign the contract and send it back!

Instead, after some careful deliberation, I politely declined the offer.

Some of you may be staring at your screens in disbelief at this decision. Why would I do such a thing? How could I throw away an offer to achieve the dream I’ve had for my entire life? I was handed the golden ticket and I chose to rip it up!!

Well, I won’t go into specifics, but I didn’t feel the publisher was the right fit for THE BLOOD GAMES. I feared that jumping at the first opportunity meant that I might be sacrificing a better one that comes down the line. While it has always been my dream to get published, I want to make sure I get it right the first time, as I believe in what I’ve written and want to see it in the best shape possible before it goes out to print. While I know the publishing market is tough out there, I wanted more time to explore my options without tethering myself to an offer that didn’t align perfectly with my goals for the project.

Was this a mistake? I suppose I’ll never know what might have happened if I said yes. But I’m a patient person…I don’t feel a burning need to see my name in print out of vanity. If and when it does happen, I want to feel like I put my best foot forward and chose the right option for me and my book. Even if that means ultimately self-publishing and selling zero copies, at least I’ll have felt like I controlled my own destiny.

This might sound arrogant or that I feel I’m “above” indie publishing in some way, which is not the case. I truly appreciated the offer and might have accepted if the conditions were slightly different. I’m not pursuing this out of ego…I genuinely want this book to get into the hands of the right people to make my dream come true. I just haven’t met those people yet!!

So, again, this is more of a bittersweet update than I ever planned on writing. On the one hand, this is exciting and positive news…I got a Yes! I can officially say I got an indie publishing offer from a reputable company!! That means I’ve already made it farther than most unpublished aspiring authors ever do. But it’s also melancholic, because in the back of my mind I’ll always be wondering if I threw away my one shot and will never get another one.

But I’m not a quitter or a pessimist. I believe I have what it takes and will continue to put myself and my work out there. If it eventually takes me to the promised land, this will simply be one step on a long journey towards success. And if I never manage to take off, I can still say I have no regrets about my decision and fought for the best outcome possible for my book, with no compromises to my vision.

I expect to see more query responses trickle in over the coming month or so, so I’ll try to update again by the end of June. I still anticipate a wave of “No”s to hit my inbox in that time, but that’s okay. And hey – maybe there are more surprises in store, and I can come to you with yet another unexpected update delivering the good news!

So whoever you are out there reading this, thanks for following along with me on this journey, no matter where it takes me. I know I can get too sappy and earnest for my own good, but I feel so full of gratitude for everyone that has supported me and my writing over the years. If my work manages to brighten the life of even one person when it’s all said and done, this will all have been worth it to me.

-Austin Daniel